Saying Goodbye

Twenty years ago heaven reached out and nudged me.

My Dad worked third shift for most of his life. Oftentimes, when the weekend hits he would stay up late and watch tv. Without a doubt he would always fall asleep on the couch. Usually, I would wake him up and tell him to go to bed. My cue to do so, was when his snoring drowned out the tv!

This particular Saturday, something in me told me I need to put my Dad to bed. I woke him up and preceded to put him to bed. I guided him upstairs, took his shoes off and pulled the covers over him, not knowing this would be one of the last times I would see him. This was my first goodbye.

I was a son, putting my dad to bed. The roles were reversed, instead of a father taking care of his son, a son was caring for his father. I thought to myself, “This seems awkward.” Regardless of my feelings I pushed through and I am forever grateful for that memory.

My inspiration for this post, originated from a contestant on America’s Got Talent. Iam Tongi covered the song Monster’s by James Blunt. Below is that video and grab a box of tissues, you’ll need it.

Hearing his story and the song sends chills through body. It’s a eerily similar retelling of the night I put my dad to bed.

Lyrics from Monster’s by James Blunt

Oh, before they turn off all the lights
I won’t read you your wrongs or your rights
The time has gone
I’ll tell you goodnight, close the door
Tell you I love you once more
The time has gone
So here it is

I’m not your son, you’re not my father
We’re just two grown men saying goodbye
No need to forgive, no need to forget
I know your mistakes and you know mine
And while you’re sleeping I’ll try to make you proud
So, daddy, won’t you just close your eyes?
Don’t be afraid, it’s my turn
To chase the monsters away

Oh, well, I’ll read a story to you
Only difference is this one is true
The time has gone
I folded your clothes on the chair
I hope you sleep well, don’t be scared
The time has gone
So here it is

I’m not your son, you’re not my father
We’re just two grown men saying goodbye
No need to forgive, no need to forget
I know your mistakes and you know mine
And while you’re sleeping I’ll try to make you proud
So, daddy, won’t you just close your eyes?
Don’t be afraid, it’s my turn
To chase the monsters away

Sleep a lifetime
Yes, and breathe a last word
You can feel my hand on your own
I will be the last one
So I’ll leave a light on
Let there be no darkness, in your heart

But I’m not your son, you’re not my father
We’re just two grown men saying goodbye
No need to forgive, no need to forget
I know your mistakes and you know mine
And while you’re sleeping I’ll try to make you proud
So, daddy, won’t you just close your eyes?
Don’t be afraid, it’s my turn
To chase the monsters away

My Second Goodbye

The next morning, I received a call from my Mom, my dad was rushed to the hospital. He experienced chest pains and called 911. My second and last goodbye happened at the hospital, right before surgery. I approached my dad in the bed and upon seeing me started to cry and he said my name. As he said my name, he simultaneously lifted up his hand, waiting for me to grasp his hand. This was my last goodbye to my dad.

Turning Off the Light

After tucking my dad into bed, I did one last thing. I turned the light off. I glanced once more at him laying there and closed the door creating the last memorable moment I would have with my Dad.

Dad, if you are reading this, leave the light on for me, I’ll be home someday.